Our house by Louise Candlish

Many of us take commodities for granted. Waking up in the morning, sliding your slippers on and making a cup of coffee. Minimal thought goes into that. You just know that when you get home your slippers and coffee will be there, waiting for you. But what if one day they weren’t? What if something changed and gave you a new situation you needed to adapt to? Most people would be able to deal with a few commodities being damaged or lost but what if it was your whole house, your home, that completely vanished? ‘Our House’ by Louise Candlish tells the story of a woman facing this situation. Fi returns home from work one day to find her house and family home taken away from her. All her meaningless commodities that she always took for granted, gone and replaced by those of another family. She knows its her house, she isn’t going mad, but the new family are equally certain that it is their house. And what’s more, they have the legal documents to prove that its theirs. As the reader, we know nothing more than Fi and we are left feeling the exact same confusion and mind-boggling panic that she feels. What will she do without her home? What will she do with her two young boys? But more pressingly; how could this have possibly happened? And where is her husband, Bram? And why hasn’t he said anything or done anything about this? He must have known, so could he have something to do with the loss of their family home? This story is told in a series of diary entries from the past from both Fi and Bram in the weeks leading up to this event. From these entries, a terrible, morbid secret of Bram’s is revealed and it turns out that the reason behind the loss of their family home is far darker than Fi could have ever imagined. Unfortunately for Fi, in the weeks leading up to this terrible event, she has no idea what is happening in her husband’s life and has no idea what’s in store for her just around the corner. Bram is a guy who loves to live life on the edge and his monogamous family lifestyle is far too boring for him. When driving alone in his car, he finds ways to make life more exciting, in the form of speeding. But on the day that he acquires his terrible morbid secret, he suddenly realises how much of a good life he actually has and also how his chances of keeping it are hanging by a very thin thread. Now he must live a double life, one where everything is perfectly fine and one where he must work tirelessly to cover up every possible trace of himself. Bram’s realisation of how he is so dangerously close to losing everything that is important to him gets stronger and stronger every day. We have all felt that gut wrenching sickness in the bottom of our stomachs when we know that we have done something wrong and we’re just waiting for someone to find out. We feel exactly this as we read about Bram’s hardship during this awful time. He cannot tell Fi or their boys from fear of what they will think of him but equally the stress of dealing with this situation is pushing him closer and closer to the edge. He must hold himself together though, just so that, even if he doesn’t get to live his life, at least his family may get to. But the big question remains, what does Bram’s problem have to do with Fi legally losing her house and effectively being made homeless? What could Bram possibly have done that would warrant this punishment upon his family? And how can no-one know? I really love how this book shows two angles of the same story, being perceived in very different ways from both Fi and Bram. It really made me realise how its possible to be so close to someone, and even be married to them, without knowing a huge part of their life. As well as being an exiting crime thriller, this book also succeeds at explaining just how detrimental keeping large secrets from your loved ones can be for your mental health, but equally how difficult it actually can be to share those things with them. Many of us have experienced that feeling of needing to make one of these big decisions: don’t inform your loved ones and risk letting the secret swallow you whole, or tell them and maybe get their support or risk them judging you and seeing you in a different way for the rest of your life…